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Ready for an underwater adventure in the Deep Dark Sea?



Flicking through the Smeet Daily News a few days ago, you noticed a mysterious job advertisement that read: ‘Exciting and adventurous aquatic-based position, strong swimmers ONLY need apply’. The money seemed good, especially since you blew all your savings on a personal shipment from the ‘Cocoa Company’ last week. In hindsight, perhaps you were naïve, but you automatically assumed the job would involve assisting with snorkeling trips or, at worst, dropping tourists in shark cages.

A week later, and you find yourself in the Neptun, a deep-sea diving vessel, at the bottom of the Smeetian Ocean. You are assisting a team of research scientists, a group of experts so talented and extraordinary that it is frankly miraculous that they have hired you without realising how horrendously under-qualified you are. It’s like Mr Bean accompanying Dustin Hoffmann and co in the (really quite weird) 1998 sci-fi film Sphere.

So we’ve learnt two things so far – a) a PhD in Marine Biology doesn’t necessarily make you a good HR manager, and b) I need some more up-to-date pop culture references. But these things aren’t important, you’ve got a job to do!

The main issue with the research site is the lack of light. This is the Deep DARK Sea after all. You’ve been tasked with collecting Glowing Plankton from the water, and this can be combined with different schools of fish to produce ‘Mysterious Luminescence’. You should then be able to activate the searchlights on the Neptun and hopefully attract and view new underwater species!

It all sounds tremendously exciting. Unless you don’t like water. Or fish. Or dark, tight spaces. In which case, you probably should have mentioned that in the interview, shouldn’t you?

Good luck, Smeeters!