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Dipping into Politics with WillKane!

“The Importance of Voting…For Yourself”

 

Hey all, WillKane back with an important message about political elections.  Whether you are in the United States like me or abroad, at some point you will feel urged to vote for a candidate or political party, not that you have to of course, but usually the small pile of junk email from hopeful candidates is a not-so-subtle way of pushing people to the polls.  We just had our yearly round of elections in America at the national, state and local levels, and I voted in all of them.  And for the first time, I felt the inner urge to do what most any winner of a political election, at least in America for recent memory, would do: vote for myself.

 

There was one issue: I hadn’t run for any political office, not now or at any point in the past.  The last times I campaigned for any kind of position was in high school on a couple of occasions.  I narrowly lost out my sophomore year on being class secretary after running a clean campaign where I made imaginary promises and almost single-handedly ruined the word “killer” (which in this case means something is very cool, as in “Those new Air Jordan’s look killer on you, dude”).  But I did win out on being a Lieutenant Governor for Key Club my junior year after it was found the other candidate had colluded with her friend, the outgoing Lieutenant Governor, to win the election for her, so yay for mini-scandals.

 

Anyway, I hadn’t planned a campaign to be a candidate before Election Day this time.  So what?  I had a better idea.  Even if I couldn’t win the election outright, I could at least get my name out there for next time, or in this situation, names.  That’s right, you heard me, NAMES, two of them to be exact.  And how was I able to do this?  Simple: I wrote my name on the ballot in the voting booth:

The next global political hero?The next global political hero?

 

Step 1 was now complete with that name, along with my Facebook alias Jonathan Sullenberger, written into the local board of education ballot.  Yes, EDUMACATION, I gots to illiterate folk, cuz me ain’t got no time for propa gramma.  Now for step 2, the local media recognized the “power” of my self-vote:

Voter fraud? What voter fraud?Voter fraud? What voter fraud?

Finally step 3, after it’s all been said and done with the election with the winners announced and the results, since I didn’t win, I gave a complimentary concession comment to a fellow candidate only known as the letter D:

Grace and humility in the face of defeat.Grace and humility in the face of defeat.

Until next time when I decide at the last minute to make a non-serious political run at office, have fun and happy Smeeting!