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Space Station Ortega: Go where no Smeeter has gone before…

It’s time to venture into outer space!Now then. THIS is a cool allotment.Now then. THIS is a cool allotment.

Your increasingly varied and, frankly, bizarre career choices have taken yet another twist as you meet a lady in a local bar who is recruiting for the Space Station Ortega, a research vessel about to set out into the solar system to conduct some testing. Quite why she is recruiting for a presumably highly-advanced space mission in a trashy Smeet City bar is not the point here – the point is you are somehow unemployed YET AGAIN and she’s offering big cash for something that sounds pretty interesting. What’s the worst that can happen?

Well, you did recently watch Ridley Scott’s 1979 documentary film Alien, and that didn’t look like so much take up the offer regardless and find out more about the project. A group of astronauts and scientists have been charged with proving that self-sufficient space travel is possible – if they can grow their own food on board a spacecraft, missions can run for longer and the universe will be more accessible to humans than ever before! The Ortega could alter the course of humankind forever with these experiments, something that makes your recruitment half-way through Happy Hour at ‘Sloppy Joe’s Tavern’ even more perplexing. Still, no complaining, gotta pay dem billz!

Once into space, your main aim in this current round of experiments is to prove that everyday fruit and veg can be grown in an intergalactic environment! Try and produce melon, potato and pumpkin, generating soil from the Biowaste Generators and cultivating the plants using only the methods available on the isolated research station. It’s a big challenge for sure, but we have no doubt that all your recent experiences working on the Neptun deep-sea diving vessel, investigating meteorite showers and selling chocolate to Smeet City hipsters at the Cocoa Company will all, in their own unique ways, help you to succeed

Best of luck, Smeeters!